It was literally driving me crazy. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t even think straight. I was headed no where fast and I knew what I needed to do to free myself, but I couldn’t. I had grown accustomed to my dysfunction. In fact, I made my dysfunction, functional and accepted the horrible way I felt as my new norm.
I needed to be loved. I needed to feel accepted. I needed to feel the presence of another being, and if that meant going crazy in the process… there I was ready to be labeled crazy or whatever. The truth was that I didn’t understand how there could ever be good in goodbye. I wasn’t ready to accept the fact that the one thing I was holding on to, was the one thing that was impacting my mental illness in the worst of ways.
Letting go is often associated with loss of love and lack of caring, but what If I told you that sometimes, letting go takes love. What if I said that sometimes the best thing you can do to show you care is to say goodbye. It may sound crazy or maybe even selfish, but this was my reality. Saying goodbye and letting go was what I needed to do. It was the game changer I didn’t recognize was needed until it was forced upon me. I had to let go of things and people in my life that were not beneficial to my growth in God and me overcoming my depression and anxiety. Negativity had to go. Dysfunctional relationships had to go. Doubt had to go. Low self-esteem had to go. Insecurities had to go.
I was finally in a place where it mattered to me that I got better. I wanted to be whole. I wanted to be secure. I wanted to be free from what was controlling me. So… I learned that sometimes, there is good in goodbye.
Today, I charge you to do whatever you have to do to protect your mental. Say Goodbye to people who can’t and wont support you through this, there are too many of us out here willing to support you, for you to be begging people to stick around. Goodbye to things that hinder your growth, there are too many alternatives for you to be stuck. Your willingness to fight like hell to rid yourself of anything that is toxic to your wellbeing will be what takes your from just surviving to thriving in 2018.
While it never seems like the right time to say goodbye, trust me, now is definitely the time to say goodbye to things and people who can’t come along with you on your journey to better. I know it may hurt to think about, anxiety may peak a little as mine did, but on the other side of goodbye, there really is some good. Your can’t become better, holding on to things and people who make you worse. While the struggle is definitely sometimes real, the goal is to overcome every mental encounter.